1 00:00:48,353 --> 00:00:52,353 www.titlovi.com 2 00:00:55,353 --> 00:00:59,951 - Idiot. Hell, no, I won't marry you. Gosh! 3 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,255 What would you do if you were in a situation like this? 4 00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:05,296 Gosh! Gosh! Gosh! 5 00:01:05,397 --> 00:01:07,388 Gosh! 6 00:01:29,087 --> 00:01:33,355 Dear diary, I had that nightmare again. 7 00:01:33,459 --> 00:01:35,325 I fear I'll never get married. 8 00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:41,760 Maybe I am destined to be a sad old spinster... 9 00:01:41,867 --> 00:01:44,665 whose only companionship comes from an absurd amount of cats. 10 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,584 No, that won't be me. 11 00:02:02,688 --> 00:02:05,748 - I believe in true love. 12 00:02:05,858 --> 00:02:08,724 My knight in shining armor is out there somewhere... 13 00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:11,021 and I'm gonna find him. 14 00:04:25,831 --> 00:04:27,925 Ooh. Mmm. 15 00:04:41,146 --> 00:04:43,115 Oh, shit. 16 00:04:45,617 --> 00:04:46,951 Ow 17 00:04:46,951 --> 00:04:47,576 Ow 18 00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:05,867 Opah! - Hi, Dad. 19 00:05:05,971 --> 00:05:09,408 Look here,Julia When you gonna find a man and get married? 20 00:05:09,509 --> 00:05:12,444 You lookin'old, fat and saggy 21 00:05:14,112 --> 00:05:18,048 And that mole on your forearm, is growing a mole. 22 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,951 Les put some hummus on it. It cures everything. 23 00:05:24,389 --> 00:05:26,550 Baby, you gotta find a man. 24 00:05:26,658 --> 00:05:28,990 In our race to protect our Greek heritage- 25 00:05:29,095 --> 00:05:32,189 Yes, yes, yes. And my heritage too. 26 00:05:32,298 --> 00:05:35,233 Let us not forget you are also one-half Indian 27 00:05:35,334 --> 00:05:40,600 - Your mother's right. - Big sister, we alsoJapanese. 28 00:05:40,706 --> 00:05:42,834 - And Jewish. - So you're telling me... 29 00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:46,901 I have to marry a guy who's a Greek Indian JapaneseJew? 30 00:05:47,012 --> 00:05:49,572 Baby, you're actin' like thas hard to find. Look around. 31 00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,478 They everywhere. 32 00:05:56,088 --> 00:06:00,252 Nicky. Nicky! You're Greek, right? 33 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:04,922 Yeah. And Indian and Japanese and a Jew. 34 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:07,761 Huh? You wanna go out with my daughter? 35 00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:11,427 Nah I don't like redheads Sorry 36 00:06:17,343 --> 00:06:21,336 Dad, I know I'm no beauty, but I'm not gonna settle. 37 00:06:21,447 --> 00:06:26,247 I respect our heritage, but I believe love is blind 38 00:06:26,350 --> 00:06:30,117 Somewhere out there is my true love. 39 00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:33,290 No! Back to work 40 00:06:36,362 --> 00:06:38,353 Coffee? 41 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,100 - More coffee? - Excellent. 42 00:06:44,201 --> 00:06:46,262 Jolly good. I quite fancy some... 43 00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:53,278 more coffee, actually. 44 00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,776 Pick up 45 00:06:59,850 --> 00:07:02,218 - Pick up! Pick up! - Okay. 46 00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:05,290 - Pick up! - I'm coming. 47 00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:44,252 - Oh, hell, no! 48 00:07:44,362 --> 00:07:48,060 - You're Hitch? - You got a problem with that? 49 00:07:48,165 --> 00:07:51,033 Please, I'm desperate 50 00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:55,129 Even I can't help you, and I found StarJones a husband. 51 00:08:02,112 --> 00:08:04,048 Aw, shit. Come on in. 52 00:08:04,149 --> 00:08:07,550 Thanks for seeing me. I heard you're the best. 53 00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:11,987 You're goddamn right I'm the best. Look at all the couples I'm responsible for. 54 00:08:12,091 --> 00:08:14,355 You got Brad and Jen... 55 00:08:14,459 --> 00:08:17,052 Jessica and Nick, Ben and Gwyn 56 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,653 Ben and Jen, Ben and Jen 57 00:08:19,764 --> 00:08:22,165 Ben and Matt, Whitney and Bobby 58 00:08:22,266 --> 00:08:24,997 Kobe and Shaq, Ellen and Anne 59 00:08:25,103 --> 00:08:27,538 Yeah, I do them too. 60 00:08:27,639 --> 00:08:30,473 Well, there's this guy at the diner where I work. 61 00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:34,635 - We had this... moment. - What happened? 62 00:08:34,745 --> 00:08:38,307 I turned around, and he was gone. 63 00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:42,216 He probably got a good look at your mug and ran. 64 00:08:42,321 --> 00:08:46,985 Why don't we broaden the search from that one guy to just any nigga? 65 00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:50,085 - Okay. - Eight out of ten guys believe... 66 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:53,359 the first kiss will tell them everything they need to know about a relatinship 67 00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:56,865 So before we get started, let's see what you got 68 00:09:03,676 --> 00:09:08,077 Ooh, stinky. You got the dragon. 69 00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:14,951 You got a little somethin' in there. 70 00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:29,566 A whole wing? 71 00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:35,067 Extra crispy? Goddamn! 72 00:09:56,495 --> 00:09:59,123 Good gracius! 73 00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,793 - Off of me, trick! 74 00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:05,268 What, are you hungry? 75 00:10:10,743 --> 00:10:13,505 - I'm hopeless. 76 00:10:16,248 --> 00:10:18,773 I'm never gonna meet my Prince Charming 77 00:10:18,884 --> 00:10:21,750 I got it! 78 00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,125 A reality dating show? 79 00:10:28,225 --> 00:10:30,821 Says here you can meet the man of your dreams. 80 00:10:30,928 --> 00:10:33,692 It also says you have to be beautiful. 81 00:10:33,798 --> 00:10:37,826 Well, you're beautiful-ish. 82 00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:39,802 Oh, come on, Hitch. 83 00:10:39,903 --> 00:10:44,638 The only way I could get on that show is if you magically turn me into a princess. 84 00:10:47,113 --> 00:10:48,312 - Let's roll. - 85 00:10:48,312 --> 00:10:49,008 - Let's roll. - 86 00:10:53,918 --> 00:10:56,149 - Yo, fellas! 87 00:11:01,326 --> 00:11:03,225 Time to pimp her out. 88 00:11:36,427 --> 00:11:40,557 - Mm-mm-mm. 89 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:04,187 Oh. 90 00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,725 Hey! Hey! 91 00:12:24,475 --> 00:12:26,375 Yeah! 92 00:13:03,649 --> 00:13:06,447 Whoa! You're officially pimped out 93 00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:15,455 All right, girl. Now you're good to go. 94 00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,296 Ladies, good evening, and welcome to... 95 00:13:24,403 --> 00:13:27,370 The Extreme Bachelor Desperate Editin 96 00:13:27,471 --> 00:13:31,601 By the end of tonight's episode, one of you lucky ladies 97 00:13:31,710 --> 00:13:35,908 will be chosen by the bachelor to go on a dream date. 98 00:13:36,014 --> 00:13:37,981 - So let's meet him 99 00:13:38,081 --> 00:13:42,019 He's a doctor with a 1 2-inch cock. 100 00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:47,682 Ladies, may I introduce the bachelor 101 00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:00,936 - Hi. Lovely to meet you. - Hi. 102 00:14:01,038 --> 00:14:02,870 - Hello. I'm Grant. Hi. - Hi. 103 00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:05,466 - I'm Grant - Hi, Grant 104 00:14:05,576 --> 00:14:07,408 Nice to meet you 105 00:14:10,014 --> 00:14:13,745 - I'm Julia. - Pleasure. 106 00:14:15,485 --> 00:14:18,547 Now, Grant, the elimination round. 107 00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:22,182 Essentially nixing the girls you don't want to bang 108 00:14:22,293 --> 00:14:24,385 Who's going to be eliminated? 109 00:14:42,779 --> 00:14:45,272 Nice aim, Grant. Good eye. 110 00:14:57,863 --> 00:15:02,298 -Julia, will you accept this rose? - Yes. 111 00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:32,561 Guys, congratulations. 112 00:15:32,663 --> 00:15:37,067 You have won a dinner for two at A Restaurant. 113 00:15:37,168 --> 00:15:39,658 A Restaurant! 114 00:15:42,072 --> 00:15:44,735 Thanks! 115 00:15:48,846 --> 00:15:51,315 Oh, yeah, that's it! 116 00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:53,317 Oh, God! 117 00:15:56,019 --> 00:15:58,385 Oh, yeah! 118 00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:02,687 Yeah! Yeah. 119 00:16:02,793 --> 00:16:06,754 Yes! Yes! 120 00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:08,798 Yes! 121 00:16:08,899 --> 00:16:10,835 Oh,yeah! 122 00:16:10,936 --> 00:16:14,427 Oh, yes! Oh, yeah! 123 00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:17,100 Yes! Yes! Yes! 124 00:16:17,207 --> 00:16:21,701 Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! 125 00:16:21,812 --> 00:16:26,046 Yes! Yes! Yes! 126 00:16:29,788 --> 00:16:33,849 Yes! Yes! Y-Yes! 127 00:16:41,533 --> 00:16:45,524 Oh, God. Whoo! God. 128 00:16:45,635 --> 00:16:49,004 - So you're saying you do want the pork chops? - Yes, please. 129 00:16:49,106 --> 00:16:51,599 - Okay - I'll have what he's having. 130 00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:53,903 So, tell me about you. 131 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,504 Oh, I'm just a waitress. 132 00:16:56,615 --> 00:17:00,572 But I- I want to go to school to be a pastry chef. 133 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:03,245 Oh, hi. My name is Julia Jones. 134 00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:07,483 And for my admissions essay, I'm gonna show all of you at Harvard... 135 00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:11,550 why I would make an amazing pastry chef. 136 00:17:17,367 --> 00:17:19,803 What a coincidence. 137 00:17:19,903 --> 00:17:22,838 I love pie. I've got to take you downtown for the best- 138 00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:25,603 - Hummus pie? - You've been there? 139 00:17:26,810 --> 00:17:29,404 That's actually my recipe. 140 00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:32,346 But- But tell me more about you 141 00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:36,353 Like, what's your favorite love song? 142 00:17:39,057 --> 00:17:42,184 - It's kind of corny. - Oh, come on. 143 00:17:58,241 --> 00:18:03,269 You're that waitress. You've changed. 144 00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:07,284 Well, I- I was- I was sort of goin' through- through a phase. 145 00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:12,386 I was downright ugly. 146 00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:15,423 I don't remember you ever being ugly. 147 00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:20,125 But I remember you. 148 00:18:29,807 --> 00:18:32,366 I can't explain it, but... 149 00:18:32,478 --> 00:18:36,173 when I'm with you, I just feel so alive. 150 00:18:36,279 --> 00:18:41,980 - Me too. - I just wanna scream and shout and- 151 00:18:42,086 --> 00:18:45,113 - Roll drunks? - Huh? 152 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,622 - Uh,Julia? 153 00:18:53,865 --> 00:18:55,991 Come on! 154 00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:38,807 Yes! Yes! 155 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:41,038 Yes! 156 00:19:41,144 --> 00:19:43,114 Oh,yeah! 157 00:19:47,817 --> 00:19:51,846 - That was... amazing. It sure was 158 00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:03,261 She faked it, Grant 159 00:20:04,336 --> 00:20:06,826 But I didn't. 160 00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:11,039 Meow. 161 00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:14,611 Meow 162 00:20:49,579 --> 00:20:52,641 Oh, no, no, no, no... 163 00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:54,082 no, no 164 00:20:54,184 --> 00:20:56,153 no, no, no 165 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:59,951 no, no, no, no, no! 166 00:21:00,057 --> 00:21:04,493 No! No! 167 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,564 Ooh. 168 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:20,175 Hoo. It's tingly. 169 00:21:20,278 --> 00:21:24,077 Grant, how would you feel about meeting my parents? 170 00:21:49,807 --> 00:21:55,178 - So, Grant, ever knock anyone up? - Mom! 171 00:21:55,278 --> 00:21:58,807 I want many grandkids, and how do I know ifhe's shooting blanks or not? 172 00:22:03,453 --> 00:22:05,787 Bathroom's down the hall. 173 00:22:12,130 --> 00:22:14,564 Just leave the sample on the counter. 174 00:22:33,116 --> 00:22:35,550 Oh, sorry. 175 00:22:37,654 --> 00:22:41,522 - That's Jinxers. 176 00:22:45,028 --> 00:22:47,555 Taught him how to do that. 177 00:23:58,036 --> 00:24:00,334 Julia told me your last name. 178 00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:03,067 - How do you pronounce it? -Just how it's spelled. 179 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:08,108 f-O-C-K-Y-E-R-D-O-D-E-R. 180 00:24:08,211 --> 00:24:11,478 - fockyerdoder? - Mmm. 181 00:24:11,583 --> 00:24:14,778 - Mm-hmm. 182 00:24:14,884 --> 00:24:17,582 - Allergic to cats? 183 00:24:17,689 --> 00:24:20,317 Uh, no, no. I-I-I love cats. 184 00:24:20,423 --> 00:24:24,416 In fact, growing up on a farm, I once milked a cat 185 00:24:25,895 --> 00:24:29,765 I got nipples, Grant. Can you milk me? 186 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:40,598 May I say that's an exquisite vase. Ancient artifact, I presume. 187 00:24:40,711 --> 00:24:46,376 That's actually an urn containing the remains of frank's mother. 188 00:24:46,483 --> 00:24:49,213 Well, I'm sure your mother 189 00:24:49,319 --> 00:24:53,346 would want to celebrate that Julia finally applied to pastry school. 190 00:24:53,458 --> 00:24:56,950 - What? School? - Don't you want me to better myself? 191 00:24:57,060 --> 00:24:59,586 No! I want you to work at the diner until you die. 192 00:24:59,698 --> 00:25:01,928 Grant was just kidding. Right, Grant? 193 00:25:03,867 --> 00:25:06,358 - No! 194 00:25:06,471 --> 00:25:09,634 No, no, no, no, no! 195 00:25:12,611 --> 00:25:14,442 - Mama! 196 00:25:14,546 --> 00:25:16,480 - Mama! Grandma! 197 00:25:16,579 --> 00:25:20,017 -Jinxers.Jinxers, no. 198 00:25:20,116 --> 00:25:23,053 - Oh! Grandma Jones! Oh, God! 199 00:25:23,153 --> 00:25:25,586 - No!Jinxers, stop it! - Hey! 200 00:25:25,690 --> 00:25:28,156 Jinxers!Jinxers, no! 201 00:25:28,259 --> 00:25:30,160 Oh, no, no,Jinxers! No! 202 00:25:30,260 --> 00:25:32,730 Jinxers, no! No! Mama! 203 00:25:32,829 --> 00:25:36,060 - Oh! - Get off my mama! Stop humpin'! 204 00:25:36,165 --> 00:25:38,067 Bad kitty! Please! 205 00:25:38,169 --> 00:25:40,397 -Jinxers, no! - Oh! 206 00:25:40,505 --> 00:25:44,030 - I didn't teach him how to do that. - Jinxers, bad cat! 207 00:25:44,142 --> 00:25:47,009 Jinxers, no! 208 00:25:47,112 --> 00:25:49,307 Mama! 209 00:25:50,448 --> 00:25:53,611 - That was a disaster. - It wasn't that bad. 210 00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:58,121 You desecrated my grandmother's remains, and my father hates you. 211 00:25:58,221 --> 00:26:00,384 Why didn't you tell your parents about pastry school? 212 00:26:00,490 --> 00:26:03,118 - I'm working my way up to it. 213 00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:06,627 - I'm just waiting for the right time. -Julia, you're a grown woman. 214 00:26:06,730 --> 00:26:11,566 If you haven't noticed, my family is totally controlling. 215 00:26:11,670 --> 00:26:14,969 - Whoo! - They meddle in every aspect of my life. 216 00:26:15,073 --> 00:26:16,971 Not to mention, no one in our family... 217 00:26:17,075 --> 00:26:20,531 - has ever dated outside of our culture. - He reminds me of Webster. 218 00:26:20,644 --> 00:26:24,636 I just don't see how this could work between us. 219 00:26:24,749 --> 00:26:28,376 Look, so your family's difficult. Whose isn't? 220 00:26:28,486 --> 00:26:31,453 Until I met you, my life was boring. 221 00:26:31,556 --> 00:26:34,286 - Oww! - But you, you're smart... 222 00:26:34,392 --> 00:26:39,125 and interesting and beautiful. 223 00:26:39,230 --> 00:26:41,755 I just want to be with you 224 00:26:43,500 --> 00:26:45,469 Did you say I was beautiful? 225 00:26:46,805 --> 00:26:49,328 - Come with me. - Ooh-hoo! 226 00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:51,964 It's just a littleJesus juice! Whoo! 227 00:26:52,076 --> 00:26:53,977 Where are you taking me? 228 00:26:54,077 --> 00:26:56,047 - What are we- - You'll see. 229 00:27:09,559 --> 00:27:15,327 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 230 00:27:18,103 --> 00:27:20,298 Oh, my God. 231 00:27:20,403 --> 00:27:24,772 Julia Jones, will you marry me? 232 00:27:26,242 --> 00:27:29,769 Yes, Grant fockyerdoder, I will marry you. 233 00:27:40,289 --> 00:27:43,988 How much will you give me for this? 234 00:27:44,095 --> 00:27:46,086 No. No! 235 00:27:53,104 --> 00:27:55,230 - fifty bucks. - Shit. That's it? 236 00:27:58,608 --> 00:28:01,338 But it will destroy all evil! 237 00:28:01,444 --> 00:28:03,971 Oh, screw off, wizard! 238 00:28:09,153 --> 00:28:12,055 - Come on. Let's go get some wine coolers. - And some hookers. 239 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:19,117 My precious! 240 00:28:26,037 --> 00:28:30,440 Before you set the wedding date, I wanted to meet your parents... 241 00:28:30,540 --> 00:28:35,000 because, frankly, fockyerdoder, I don't know much about you. 242 00:28:37,346 --> 00:28:40,112 I understand, homeboy. 243 00:28:45,890 --> 00:28:49,121 I'll be watching you. 244 00:28:49,227 --> 00:28:51,625 If you do anything to corrupt my daughter- 245 00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:54,198 You'll bring me down to Chinatown? 246 00:28:54,298 --> 00:29:00,238 Chinatown? I'll take your bitch ass to 1 34th Street... 247 00:29:00,336 --> 00:29:02,896 bust you in the head with a pipe. 248 00:29:06,277 --> 00:29:08,903 Hi, LittleJack. 249 00:29:09,011 --> 00:29:10,913 How come you have Betty's baby? 250 00:29:11,015 --> 00:29:14,314 She's at a swingers convention this weekend, so we said we'd take care of him. 251 00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:17,818 - Oh, how nice. - And Betty's such a good mother. 252 00:29:17,922 --> 00:29:20,048 She's teaching LittleJack sign language. 253 00:29:20,156 --> 00:29:24,684 Oh, I heard about this. Real cutting-edge stuff. 254 00:29:33,805 --> 00:29:37,740 That's right, LittleJack. "Keep your pimp hand strong." 255 00:29:44,847 --> 00:29:48,410 Right! "The dealer pinched." 256 00:29:52,923 --> 00:29:56,483 "What happens when someone rats us out to the cops?" 257 00:29:59,497 --> 00:30:02,295 "Shiv 'em in the kidney." 258 00:30:04,769 --> 00:30:08,328 - "Beotch." His first word! 259 00:30:08,439 --> 00:30:11,670 - LittleJack, what did you say? - "Beotch." 260 00:30:21,653 --> 00:30:23,983 Is that your dad? 261 00:30:29,394 --> 00:30:32,953 - Uh-huh. - figures. 262 00:30:47,278 --> 00:30:49,471 Ha! 263 00:30:51,048 --> 00:30:54,143 Grant! Ha! My boy! 264 00:30:54,250 --> 00:30:57,742 - Good to see ya. 265 00:30:57,855 --> 00:31:00,982 This is my fianceeJulia, and her parents, Linda and frank. 266 00:31:01,092 --> 00:31:03,820 Bernie fockyerdoder. Pleased to meet all of ya. 267 00:31:03,928 --> 00:31:08,365 frank, give me some sugar. Put her there! 268 00:31:08,464 --> 00:31:11,365 - All right, all right. - And this must be your little girl. 269 00:31:11,469 --> 00:31:15,803 - No, that's my wife. - Wife? So young, so pretty. 270 00:31:15,905 --> 00:31:19,272 And you must beJulia. What a beautiful moment this is. 271 00:31:19,375 --> 00:31:22,005 So beautiful. Just beautiful. 272 00:31:22,113 --> 00:31:24,443 - Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! - Oh! 273 00:31:24,548 --> 00:31:26,517 - Dad. Dad. - Mmm! Mmm! 274 00:31:26,616 --> 00:31:30,519 - What? We're all family now. - I'll just go get the luggage 275 00:31:30,622 --> 00:31:32,588 So what was that you were doin' back there? 276 00:31:32,690 --> 00:31:35,352 Oh, I was just practicing capoeira. 277 00:31:35,460 --> 00:31:37,586 - Capo-what? - Capoeira... 278 00:31:37,693 --> 00:31:39,788 the Brazilian martial art of dance fighting. 279 00:31:39,896 --> 00:31:42,798 - Beotch. - I've been doing it for weeks. 280 00:31:42,901 --> 00:31:44,799 It keeps me level. 281 00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:47,529 Ah! 282 00:31:47,637 --> 00:31:49,630 Come on. Let's go meet Roz. 283 00:31:49,740 --> 00:31:53,507 - Roz! 284 00:31:53,611 --> 00:31:57,775 You're gonna love her. Everybody, this is Roz. 285 00:32:00,585 --> 00:32:03,383 Oh! I've been kvelling to meet... 286 00:32:03,488 --> 00:32:06,819 this meshuggener goyim shiksa all day! 287 00:32:06,923 --> 00:32:09,586 Oh! 288 00:32:12,096 --> 00:32:14,428 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 289 00:32:14,530 --> 00:32:16,589 So, Grant tells me you're a doctor. 290 00:32:16,701 --> 00:32:18,726 Uh, I'm a sex therapist. 291 00:32:18,836 --> 00:32:20,929 I specialize in teenage impotency. 292 00:32:22,105 --> 00:32:24,664 - Who's thirsty? - Mom, no. 293 00:32:24,776 --> 00:32:29,336 Oh, Grantulla's just embarrassed because he lost his virginity to the housekeeper. 294 00:32:36,421 --> 00:32:39,515 - Hey, Eduardo. 295 00:33:02,814 --> 00:33:04,679 Thanks, Eduardo 296 00:33:06,784 --> 00:33:08,718 Ah! 297 00:33:08,818 --> 00:33:11,220 So, is it Harry? 298 00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:13,517 - Is what hairy? - Your name. 299 00:33:13,624 --> 00:33:16,557 - No, no, it's Bernie. - Oh, no, but it is hairy. 300 00:33:16,661 --> 00:33:19,630 - What are you talking about? - I mean, picture this with four pounds of hair. 301 00:33:19,730 --> 00:33:23,690 Oh, stop So, when's the big date? 302 00:33:23,799 --> 00:33:26,029 Well, we wanted a long engagement... 303 00:33:26,135 --> 00:33:28,469 so we're getting married this Sunday 304 00:33:28,573 --> 00:33:30,632 Oh, hell, no. I'm not paying for that wedding. 305 00:33:30,740 --> 00:33:34,200 Aw, don't have a conniption, bubbellah We'll pay for it. 306 00:33:34,310 --> 00:33:37,404 Of course! What? I got a great wedding planner 307 00:33:37,515 --> 00:33:40,175 You'll meet her tomorrow morning. Let's have a toast. 308 00:33:40,284 --> 00:33:45,688 - To great big matzo balls! L 'Chaim! L 'Chaim 309 00:33:45,788 --> 00:33:49,248 I- I couldn't be happier. 310 00:33:49,358 --> 00:33:51,884 Thanks, Dad. 311 00:33:51,996 --> 00:33:54,055 Because Nicky has agreed to marry you. 312 00:34:04,540 --> 00:34:08,978 - Nicky. - Yeah. Good job. 313 00:34:09,079 --> 00:34:11,844 Lookin' good. Nice. 314 00:34:11,949 --> 00:34:14,076 - Dad? - Hmm? 315 00:34:14,184 --> 00:34:18,143 My whole life, I've had this dream... 316 00:34:18,255 --> 00:34:20,849 that a prince would someday come and rescue me. 317 00:34:22,159 --> 00:34:24,253 Grant is that guy. 318 00:34:24,362 --> 00:34:29,231 He's my prince, and he's the one I'm gonna marry. 319 00:34:29,333 --> 00:34:31,425 No, you'll never marry Grant. 320 00:34:31,536 --> 00:34:35,699 I don't trust him You'll marry Nicky 321 00:34:35,806 --> 00:34:39,402 Thinkin'about the honeymoon makes my sac all quivery and shit 322 00:34:46,884 --> 00:34:50,980 - Wow. You seem tense. 323 00:34:51,088 --> 00:34:54,956 - When was the last time you and frank were intimate? - It's been a while. 324 00:34:57,829 --> 00:35:01,059 Whoo! It sure has. 325 00:35:01,164 --> 00:35:05,898 Well, I could show you a few tricks, spice things up again. 326 00:35:06,003 --> 00:35:09,563 - Like what? - Like a dirty Sanchez. 327 00:35:09,672 --> 00:35:12,108 - Like a- 328 00:35:12,210 --> 00:35:14,177 Oh, I don't know. 329 00:35:14,277 --> 00:35:16,940 - Or the Arabian goggles. - Ohh! 330 00:35:17,047 --> 00:35:19,608 Or what about a troll's foot? 331 00:35:19,717 --> 00:35:22,617 Where you don't clip your toenails for eight weeks... 332 00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:25,280 and then you jab it up his ass! 333 00:35:25,389 --> 00:35:27,652 Or a Mexican blowtorch... 334 00:35:27,757 --> 00:35:31,523 where you take a cotton swab, you dip it in alcohol, put it on the top of his dick... 335 00:35:31,628 --> 00:35:33,527 and then you light it on fire. 336 00:35:33,630 --> 00:35:35,860 - Is that all you got, fockyerdoder? 337 00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:38,833 Hold on. 338 00:35:40,371 --> 00:35:43,635 - How do you think it's going? - I think it's going really well. 339 00:35:43,739 --> 00:35:46,608 - You do? - Yeah. Everyone's getting along famously. 340 00:35:46,710 --> 00:35:48,610 Even our dads are hitting it off. 341 00:35:48,713 --> 00:35:52,547 - You might want to put your shirt back on. - Nah. 342 00:36:13,871 --> 00:36:16,862 - Oh, man. 343 00:36:30,621 --> 00:36:34,148 - The wedding planner will see you now. 344 00:36:39,530 --> 00:36:44,228 I'm Jell-O. fockyerdoder? Please, have a seat. 345 00:36:48,606 --> 00:36:52,201 Now, I'm here to plan your dream wedding 346 00:36:52,309 --> 00:36:54,800 So, tell me what you want 347 00:36:54,911 --> 00:36:57,641 Well, uh, we want a traditional wedding. 348 00:36:57,748 --> 00:37:00,239 Something simple, yet elegant. 349 00:37:00,351 --> 00:37:02,443 Yo, I know exactly the place. 350 00:37:02,552 --> 00:37:04,952 Muy romantico. 351 00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:07,422 Think outside my buns. 352 00:37:07,525 --> 00:37:11,291 It's... not quite what we had in mind. 353 00:37:11,393 --> 00:37:13,385 That's the best I can do on short notice. 354 00:37:13,496 --> 00:37:17,592 You got to book the caterer, pick a pinata, choose your best man 355 00:37:17,702 --> 00:37:19,601 Oh, I've already taken care of that. 356 00:37:19,704 --> 00:37:22,467 - My best mate Andy flew in this morning. - Andy? 357 00:37:22,572 --> 00:37:24,541 Yeah, we'll meet up at the hotel later. 358 00:37:24,641 --> 00:37:28,635 - I think you two will hit it off tremendously. - I can't wait. 359 00:37:28,746 --> 00:37:31,612 And I can't wait till you see who I booked for the entertainment. 360 00:37:47,030 --> 00:37:48,827 No! 361 00:37:56,273 --> 00:37:59,641 So, where is this best man of yours? 362 00:37:59,744 --> 00:38:02,679 Andy! 363 00:38:11,355 --> 00:38:13,949 Andy's not a guy? 364 00:38:14,056 --> 00:38:16,025 A guy? Heavens, no. 365 00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:38,637 It's great we've remained so close, even after the engagement fell through. 366 00:38:40,351 --> 00:38:42,318 You two were engaged? 367 00:38:49,592 --> 00:38:55,155 Ages ago. It was more physical than anything, really. 368 00:38:58,668 --> 00:39:00,465 Just constant... 369 00:39:00,570 --> 00:39:04,405 mind-blowing, porno-grade sex 370 00:39:07,277 --> 00:39:09,143 Sex. 371 00:39:09,246 --> 00:39:10,974 - It's easy to see - Sex 372 00:39:12,750 --> 00:39:14,512 Sex, sex, sex 373 00:39:14,617 --> 00:39:17,018 sex, sex, sex 374 00:39:17,121 --> 00:39:19,918 sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex 375 00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:30,599 S-So, you realized it- it just wasn't right? 376 00:39:30,701 --> 00:39:33,362 Well, she realized it wasn't right. 377 00:39:33,471 --> 00:39:37,373 She dumped me. Just wasn't ready to settle down. 378 00:40:06,871 --> 00:40:09,304 Why is she in slow motion? 379 00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:14,139 - She likes to make an entrance. Grant! 380 00:40:20,818 --> 00:40:23,650 - Oh! 381 00:40:23,753 --> 00:40:26,119 This is Julia. Mmm! 382 00:40:29,393 --> 00:40:33,489 Oh, I have heard so much about you. 383 00:40:33,597 --> 00:40:36,657 Now, Grant told me how attractive you were... 384 00:40:36,766 --> 00:40:39,634 but he never mentined you were flat-chested 385 00:40:39,737 --> 00:40:42,797 How cute. 386 00:40:54,050 --> 00:40:58,112 Excuse me while I get out of these wet clothes. 387 00:41:14,237 --> 00:41:18,003 - So, how did you two meet? - We were in Beverly Hills. 388 00:41:56,112 --> 00:41:59,844 I'll give you two grand if I can fuck you in the ass. 389 00:41:59,949 --> 00:42:02,543 - Sounds quite reasonable. - Okay, this is just too weird 390 00:42:02,652 --> 00:42:05,085 Can we dissolve back now? 391 00:42:05,188 --> 00:42:07,248 And so, eventually, you got engaged... 392 00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:09,291 and then you broke up ages ago. 393 00:42:09,393 --> 00:42:13,056 Sure, if you call three weeks ages ago 394 00:42:14,197 --> 00:42:16,893 You were engaged to her three weeks ago? 395 00:42:17,001 --> 00:42:19,434 Honestly,Julia 396 00:42:19,536 --> 00:42:21,664 you have nothing to be jealous about. 397 00:42:21,771 --> 00:42:26,902 Just because I see Grant with another woman doesn't mean I want him back 398 00:42:40,456 --> 00:42:43,824 finger sandwich? 399 00:42:43,927 --> 00:42:44,360 Okay, I'll go first. 400 00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:47,262 Okay, I'll go first. 401 00:42:47,364 --> 00:42:50,356 Let me say we don't really need to be here. 402 00:42:50,467 --> 00:42:53,925 - See, we've been dating for five days- - Six. 403 00:42:54,038 --> 00:42:58,873 five, six days, and this is like a checkup for us. 404 00:42:58,976 --> 00:43:01,911 There's this huge space between us... 405 00:43:02,012 --> 00:43:05,742 and it keeps getting bigger and bigger 406 00:43:08,452 --> 00:43:10,443 How honest are you with him? 407 00:43:10,554 --> 00:43:13,387 Pretty honest. 408 00:43:13,489 --> 00:43:16,425 I mean, it's not like I lie to him or anything. 409 00:43:17,795 --> 00:43:19,989 I just, uh- 410 00:43:20,097 --> 00:43:23,998 I mean, I-I have little secrets. 411 00:43:24,101 --> 00:43:26,262 Everyone has secrets. 412 00:43:27,804 --> 00:43:30,103 I have hepatitis "C." 413 00:43:36,380 --> 00:43:38,472 How does that make you feel? 414 00:43:40,384 --> 00:43:42,476 I'm not sure, really. 415 00:43:44,822 --> 00:43:47,655 Let me clarify. I loveJulia. 416 00:43:47,757 --> 00:43:51,989 I... want her to be happy. 417 00:43:52,096 --> 00:43:55,532 I want good things for her. 418 00:43:55,632 --> 00:43:57,429 But there are times- 419 00:44:14,952 --> 00:44:18,251 You know, when she's sleeping, just take a pillow and- 420 00:44:32,503 --> 00:44:34,869 Thanks for helping me pick out my dress 421 00:44:34,972 --> 00:44:39,170 To be honest, I was surprised you called. 422 00:44:39,275 --> 00:44:41,539 Well, you're a part of Grant's life... 423 00:44:41,643 --> 00:44:45,581 and that means you're a part of my life too. 424 00:44:45,681 --> 00:44:48,811 You look like a princess. 425 00:44:54,489 --> 00:44:56,981 You don't think it's a bit too much? 426 00:44:57,094 --> 00:44:58,958 Oh, not at all. 427 00:44:59,063 --> 00:45:01,327 I'll go get some pins to fit it. 428 00:45:03,833 --> 00:45:05,664 Uh-oh. 429 00:45:28,358 --> 00:45:31,623 Why do you insist on dressing me in these fruity outfits? 430 00:45:31,728 --> 00:45:36,188 - I'm gonna take this lollipop and shove it up your ass. 431 00:45:36,300 --> 00:45:38,530 I can hear everyone's thoughts. 432 00:45:38,635 --> 00:45:41,934 I love Puerto Rican men. They're spicy. 433 00:45:42,039 --> 00:45:45,974 It's like I'm trapped in a bad Mel Gibson movie. 434 00:45:46,076 --> 00:45:47,976 What the hell was I thinkin'? 435 00:45:48,077 --> 00:45:50,443 He's a freakin' backup dancer. 436 00:45:50,547 --> 00:45:54,210 - Dude, I married Britney Spears! 437 00:45:54,318 --> 00:45:58,378 I'm rich! I'm rich, beotch! 438 00:45:58,489 --> 00:46:00,922 - Rich! - Is the bride-to-be ready? 439 00:46:01,023 --> 00:46:04,619 Bride-to-be? Shit. Not if I can help it. 440 00:46:04,728 --> 00:46:07,628 I've got 2 4 hours to break up this wedding. 441 00:46:07,731 --> 00:46:10,063 - No. - Yes! 442 00:46:10,166 --> 00:46:14,068 I'll turn Grant against you and make him love me again 443 00:46:14,170 --> 00:46:16,434 Me, me, me! 444 00:46:16,539 --> 00:46:18,565 - Stay away from me! - Oh! 445 00:47:46,963 --> 00:47:51,059 - What is it now? - Grant's got an ex-fiancee. 446 00:47:51,168 --> 00:47:53,659 And she has a thing for him. I just know it. 447 00:47:53,768 --> 00:47:56,364 And they have this long, romantic history 448 00:47:56,472 --> 00:47:59,737 How can I measure up to that? 449 00:47:59,842 --> 00:48:03,472 You can't. She's fine as hell. 450 00:48:04,947 --> 00:48:07,780 I would tear that shit up! 451 00:48:07,885 --> 00:48:11,320 You know, everything was going so well until she turns up. 452 00:48:11,420 --> 00:48:14,253 Look, he's not with Andy anymore. He's with you. 453 00:48:14,358 --> 00:48:17,724 You gotta put aside your insecurities. It'll all work out. 454 00:48:17,827 --> 00:48:21,126 - Do you really believe that? - No, but my white customers do. 455 00:48:21,231 --> 00:48:24,632 Wow. 456 00:48:24,735 --> 00:48:27,760 - Look, I believe in you and Grant 457 00:48:27,871 --> 00:48:30,304 And before you know it, you'll be walking down the aisle. 458 00:48:30,407 --> 00:48:33,467 Oh, and saying our vows. 459 00:48:33,577 --> 00:48:35,771 And our first dance! 460 00:48:43,853 --> 00:48:47,449 You call that dancin'? No. 461 00:48:47,556 --> 00:48:51,492 - - You see this? This is where you live. 462 00:48:51,594 --> 00:48:54,893 Right here. This is your home. Huh? 463 00:48:54,998 --> 00:48:56,989 Well, how about this? 464 00:49:05,041 --> 00:49:08,943 - That bitch be krumpin'! - 465 00:49:26,730 --> 00:49:28,697 It's okay. It's okay. 466 00:49:28,797 --> 00:49:31,164 She's never gonna break us up. 467 00:49:31,268 --> 00:49:34,293 Grant and I just have to get through the rehearsal dinner... 468 00:49:34,402 --> 00:49:37,134 and then tomorrow's the big day. 469 00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:40,641 Once we're married, everything will be perfect. 470 00:49:40,744 --> 00:49:42,802 - Who are you kidding? 471 00:49:42,913 --> 00:49:46,440 - Grant's never gonna marry you. 472 00:49:46,550 --> 00:49:50,007 You're not good enough He's meant to be with Andy 473 00:49:50,119 --> 00:49:54,146 - Don't say that! - This is who you really are. 474 00:49:54,257 --> 00:49:56,987 - You're a frump, girl 475 00:49:57,094 --> 00:50:01,496 You may look different, but inside you'll always be me. 476 00:50:01,597 --> 00:50:07,161 - No, please, stop. - You'll be stuck in that diner till the end of time. 477 00:50:07,268 --> 00:50:10,728 I don't believe you. 478 00:50:12,242 --> 00:50:15,905 True love is a myth. You better hurry up and marry Nicky... 479 00:50:16,012 --> 00:50:18,503 before you end up a fat, dusty old maid. 480 00:50:18,614 --> 00:50:21,311 - Never! - You'll see. 481 00:50:21,418 --> 00:50:24,353 - 482 00:50:30,293 --> 00:50:31,920 Quiet, everyone. Quiet. 483 00:50:32,027 --> 00:50:34,429 Roz has a few words to say. 484 00:50:34,530 --> 00:50:36,431 Oh, thank you, hon. 485 00:50:36,532 --> 00:50:38,329 Mmm! 486 00:50:39,668 --> 00:50:41,931 I would like to make a toast. 487 00:50:42,039 --> 00:50:44,371 To Grant and Julia! 488 00:50:44,474 --> 00:50:47,704 Yeah! What? 489 00:50:47,811 --> 00:50:50,574 Okay! Get crunk! 490 00:50:50,679 --> 00:50:52,170 Get crunked! 491 00:51:13,170 --> 00:51:15,103 You like it? 492 00:51:16,338 --> 00:51:18,931 You look... ravishing. 493 00:51:21,210 --> 00:51:23,235 What? What's wrong? 494 00:51:23,346 --> 00:51:28,248 Grant, your whole courtship has been rocky, to say the least. 495 00:51:30,420 --> 00:51:34,117 I just hope you're not rushing into this marriage with Julia... 496 00:51:35,358 --> 00:51:38,452 as a way of getting over me 497 00:51:38,561 --> 00:51:40,893 I- 498 00:51:57,547 --> 00:52:01,175 Oh, dear God. A carousel. 499 00:52:04,855 --> 00:52:07,119 I, uh- I'd better get back. 500 00:52:15,864 --> 00:52:19,164 Grant, this is our rehearsal dinner. 501 00:52:19,268 --> 00:52:21,429 We're getting married tomorrow. 502 00:52:23,106 --> 00:52:26,335 I need to know- do you still have feelings for Andy? 503 00:52:26,443 --> 00:52:28,775 Of course not. 504 00:52:30,079 --> 00:52:33,641 I trust you. I just don't want to get hurt. 505 00:52:33,750 --> 00:52:36,014 You have nothing to worry about. 506 00:52:37,119 --> 00:52:38,780 I'm devoted to you 507 00:52:38,889 --> 00:52:40,686 forever. 508 00:54:59,460 --> 00:55:01,726 No. 509 00:55:01,831 --> 00:55:04,297 Not a zit on my wedding day! 510 00:55:05,335 --> 00:55:07,302 Ohh. 511 00:55:31,327 --> 00:55:33,626 Where the hell is Julia? 512 00:55:35,465 --> 00:55:40,128 Grant, I wouldn't be your best man unless I told you this. 513 00:55:40,235 --> 00:55:42,726 Julia doesn't deserve you. 514 00:55:42,838 --> 00:55:47,242 Oh, come on! She's an hour late for her own wedding 515 00:55:47,344 --> 00:55:51,838 Maybe she's got cold feet 'cause she knows it's not right between the two of you 516 00:55:55,018 --> 00:55:56,918 Do you ever think about us? 517 00:55:57,018 --> 00:55:58,543 Yeah. 518 00:55:58,655 --> 00:56:01,351 Me too. 519 00:56:04,126 --> 00:56:05,922 My grandmother's ring. 520 00:56:06,027 --> 00:56:08,190 She gave you this ring on her deathbed... 521 00:56:08,297 --> 00:56:12,097 and made you promise to give it to the woman you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. 522 00:56:12,202 --> 00:56:14,193 You gave it to me. 523 00:56:18,942 --> 00:56:20,842 My grandfather's toe ring. 524 00:56:20,943 --> 00:56:23,070 Didn't he give you this ring on his deathbed 525 00:56:23,179 --> 00:56:26,045 and make you promise to give it to the woman you'd cherish forever? 526 00:56:27,516 --> 00:56:29,815 You gave that to me too. 527 00:56:31,855 --> 00:56:36,224 -Julia- - Oh! She's just the rebound girl. 528 00:56:36,326 --> 00:56:40,056 I'm ready to take you back. Choose me. Marry me. 529 00:56:41,530 --> 00:56:46,297 Andy, I just don't feel the same way about you anymore. 530 00:56:46,402 --> 00:56:48,371 Julia's the one. 531 00:56:49,773 --> 00:56:52,070 Then one last kiss. 532 00:57:02,050 --> 00:57:03,746 Julia, no! 533 00:58:11,987 --> 00:58:14,889 - - Shut up! It's 4 00 in the morning! 534 00:58:14,989 --> 00:58:17,891 Asshole! 535 00:58:17,994 --> 00:58:20,393 Turn that crap off! 536 00:58:27,302 --> 00:58:30,396 - - I'm trying to watch Desperate Housewives! 537 00:58:32,809 --> 00:58:35,471 It's called an iPod! Get one! 538 00:59:12,282 --> 00:59:14,681 Oh.Jinxers? 539 00:59:38,574 --> 00:59:40,543 Julia 540 00:59:45,014 --> 00:59:47,481 Let's get you out of that funk. 541 01:00:00,362 --> 01:00:05,130 Julia, will you marry me? 542 01:00:07,603 --> 01:00:09,297 Please? 543 01:00:13,976 --> 01:00:15,945 It was good, right? 544 01:00:18,047 --> 01:00:21,244 I know Nicky's a little rough around the edges... 545 01:00:21,351 --> 01:00:24,581 but give him a chance. 546 01:00:24,686 --> 01:00:28,282 When your mother and I first got married, we barely knew each other. 547 01:00:28,391 --> 01:00:32,327 I was a mail-order bride, could barely speak the English language. 548 01:00:32,427 --> 01:00:34,418 Dad, you're from Jersey. 549 01:00:34,530 --> 01:00:36,657 I'm tryin' to make a point here. 550 01:00:36,766 --> 01:00:39,030 At first, Linda and I couldn't get along. 551 01:00:39,135 --> 01:00:42,764 But we grew to understand and even respect each other 552 01:00:42,871 --> 01:00:46,204 I'm proud to say we've been married for 30 years... 553 01:00:46,309 --> 01:00:50,472 and I have you and your sister to show for it 554 01:00:50,579 --> 01:00:53,481 Now, maybe that's not the fairy tale you dream of. 555 01:00:53,583 --> 01:00:56,347 but that's real life. 556 01:00:56,452 --> 01:00:58,351 So, what do you say? 557 01:01:01,556 --> 01:01:04,458 I've been fooling myself all along. 558 01:01:04,559 --> 01:01:07,152 There is no Prince Charming 559 01:01:07,262 --> 01:01:12,063 And true love is something that only exists in the movies. 560 01:01:15,637 --> 01:01:18,902 Okay, Dad, I'll marry Nicky. 561 01:01:20,943 --> 01:01:22,911 Back to work. 562 01:01:44,434 --> 01:01:47,335 You're crying. 563 01:01:47,436 --> 01:01:50,405 Tears of joy, Dad. 564 01:01:56,045 --> 01:01:59,014 Thanks, Frank I'll take it from here 565 01:02:01,650 --> 01:02:05,313 We are gathered here to join this man and this woman... 566 01:02:05,420 --> 01:02:07,389 in holy matrimony 567 01:02:07,489 --> 01:02:12,052 Marriage is a contract that should not be taken lightly 568 01:02:12,161 --> 01:02:16,563 It must be honored by two people who are truly in love 569 01:03:19,795 --> 01:03:24,027 If anyone has any reason why these two should not be married 570 01:03:24,132 --> 01:03:26,532 speak now or forever hold your peace. 571 01:03:37,246 --> 01:03:39,873 - I object! - Thank God! 572 01:03:44,719 --> 01:03:47,018 This isn't what you wanted. 573 01:03:47,123 --> 01:03:49,023 It's what I wanted. 574 01:03:49,125 --> 01:03:53,391 I was wrong about Grant He's a good man 575 01:03:53,496 --> 01:03:55,190 He even liked you when you were butt-ugly. 576 01:03:55,297 --> 01:03:58,061 - How do you- - I saw it in your flashback. 577 01:03:58,166 --> 01:04:00,760 You and Grant were meant to be together 578 01:04:00,869 --> 01:04:02,565 I don't know. 579 01:04:02,672 --> 01:04:05,139 You need to read this. 580 01:04:07,443 --> 01:04:10,309 My darling Julia I'm sorry 581 01:04:10,413 --> 01:04:12,643 So sorry 582 01:04:12,748 --> 01:04:15,215 So very, very sorry 583 01:04:15,318 --> 01:04:18,809 And yet, sorry seems to be the hardest word to say 584 01:04:18,920 --> 01:04:23,221 If you can ever forgive me and you're ready to make that leap 585 01:04:23,326 --> 01:04:26,226 I promise I'll be there to catch you 586 01:04:26,329 --> 01:04:29,230 If you still love me the way I love you 587 01:04:29,331 --> 01:04:31,596 then meet me where Meg Ryan met Tom Hanks 588 01:04:31,701 --> 01:04:33,601 On the Internet? 589 01:04:33,702 --> 01:04:36,501 No, not in You've Got Mail, in Sleepless in Seattle. 590 01:04:36,606 --> 01:04:40,940 Right. The observation deck of the Empire State Building. 591 01:04:41,043 --> 01:04:42,943 But how do I get there? 592 01:04:43,045 --> 01:04:46,172 Um, I'll Mapquest directins and IM-it to your Blackberry 593 01:04:46,282 --> 01:04:49,273 But I only have a T-Mobile Sidekick. 594 01:04:49,385 --> 01:04:51,353 You can borrow my Treo 650. 595 01:04:52,989 --> 01:04:56,425 How about wejust meet where we had our first date? 596 01:04:56,525 --> 01:05:00,460 A Restaurant? But that's way uptown. Traffic's a nightmare. 597 01:05:00,563 --> 01:05:03,554 The rooftop of your apartment building? 598 01:05:03,666 --> 01:05:06,692 Okay! Great! 599 01:05:06,802 --> 01:05:10,431 This issue's six months old. I hope he's still waiting. 600 01:05:10,539 --> 01:05:14,030 He'd be a fool not to wait for my daughter. Go get him, baby. 601 01:05:14,143 --> 01:05:16,043 Thanks, Dad. 602 01:05:37,900 --> 01:05:39,800 - Taxi! Taxi! 603 01:05:39,902 --> 01:05:42,335 - - Taxi! 604 01:05:46,775 --> 01:05:49,438 Someone! Someone please help! 605 01:05:49,545 --> 01:05:52,411 Trick! You're getting on my nerves! 606 01:05:52,514 --> 01:05:55,074 I need to get across town fast. 607 01:06:03,391 --> 01:06:05,791 - I owe you. - Damn straight! 608 01:06:05,893 --> 01:06:07,623 I'm Hitch, bitch! 609 01:06:42,130 --> 01:06:45,862 - Come on. Open up! 610 01:06:55,643 --> 01:06:58,373 Oh, please! 611 01:07:38,353 --> 01:07:40,253 He's mine! 612 01:07:40,356 --> 01:07:43,688 - Keep your damn hands off my man! 613 01:08:11,085 --> 01:08:12,713 I'm too late. 614 01:08:12,822 --> 01:08:15,619 Julia! 615 01:08:17,359 --> 01:08:20,328 - Ohh! 616 01:08:29,238 --> 01:08:31,832 What happens after the prince rescues the princess? 617 01:08:31,939 --> 01:08:34,931 She rescues him right back. 618 01:08:36,045 --> 01:08:38,411 You make me want to be a better man. 619 01:08:39,747 --> 01:08:41,648 You had me at "hello." 620 01:08:41,750 --> 01:08:46,813 I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy... 621 01:08:46,921 --> 01:08:49,082 asking him to love her. 622 01:09:30,064 --> 01:09:33,158 What? I'm also an ordained minister. 623 01:09:40,376 --> 01:09:42,367 By the powers vested in me... 624 01:09:42,478 --> 01:09:44,707 I now pronounce you man and wife. 625 01:09:44,813 --> 01:09:46,506 Show her some love, man! 626 01:10:07,603 --> 01:10:10,595 - Bravo! - Beautiful! 627 01:10:14,143 --> 01:10:17,112 - Yeah- - 628 01:10:35,698 --> 01:10:37,859 Julia! 629 01:10:37,966 --> 01:10:39,899 This is for you. 630 01:10:44,372 --> 01:10:47,431 It's a vaginal thermometer 631 01:10:48,978 --> 01:10:51,002 It lets you know when you're ovulating. 632 01:10:51,113 --> 01:10:53,306 It's been in our family for generations. 633 01:10:53,413 --> 01:10:56,578 And if you want to keep it our lucky thermometer, don't ever wash it. 634 01:11:02,291 --> 01:11:04,259 -Julia. - Dad. 635 01:11:06,828 --> 01:11:09,729 You're gonna have to find a new waitress. 636 01:11:09,832 --> 01:11:12,095 It's about time. 637 01:11:18,238 --> 01:11:21,332 Come here. 638 01:11:22,743 --> 01:11:25,942 Hey. Take care of my daughter. 639 01:11:26,980 --> 01:11:28,881 Come on. 640 01:11:31,685 --> 01:11:34,087 Good-bye! Best ofluck! 641 01:11:46,402 --> 01:11:49,371 Hey, is it too late to crash the fockyerdoder wedding? 642 01:11:50,470 --> 01:11:52,301 Bye. 643 01:11:52,408 --> 01:11:55,036 And we lived happily ever after 644 01:11:55,144 --> 01:11:59,546 But not before we went on our honeymoon to romantic Kong Island 645 01:12:13,996 --> 01:12:15,962 Help! 646 01:12:16,064 --> 01:12:18,625 Please help me! 647 01:12:25,474 --> 01:12:28,033 Help! 648 01:12:28,143 --> 01:12:30,234 Keep the camera rolling. 649 01:12:30,345 --> 01:12:32,211 Oh, God! 650 01:12:32,314 --> 01:12:35,010 - Help! Please! 651 01:12:38,118 --> 01:12:41,247 No. No! 652 01:12:46,993 --> 01:12:51,193 Carmen Electra! Carmen Electra! Carmen Electra! 653 01:12:51,300 --> 01:12:55,167 - Carmen Electra! Carmen Electra! - Ooh! 654 01:12:55,270 --> 01:12:57,670 - That feels kinda good. - 655 01:12:57,773 --> 01:12:59,739 A little... kinky. 656 01:13:01,777 --> 01:13:04,541 Oh, yeah! 657 01:13:07,614 --> 01:13:10,015 I like hairy boys. 658 01:13:34,408 --> 01:13:36,239 - - Yes! Yes! 659 01:13:38,747 --> 01:13:40,578 Yes! 660 01:13:40,680 --> 01:13:43,617 Yes! Beautiful. 661 01:13:43,719 --> 01:13:45,618 Yes, drink it. 662 01:13:45,720 --> 01:13:47,654 You're gonna love it. 663 01:13:47,756 --> 01:13:50,725 Is that Cos's hand on your booty? 664 01:13:55,930 --> 01:13:58,832 Cut it! 665 01:13:58,934 --> 01:14:00,925 I'm kind of an amateur tennis player. 666 01:14:01,036 --> 01:14:03,970 I was playing, it was a drizzly day... 667 01:14:04,072 --> 01:14:07,904 and Roz came down and volunteered to hold my balls and keep 'em dry. 668 01:14:08,010 --> 01:14:09,908 - His balls- - We got rained out anyway. 669 01:14:10,011 --> 01:14:11,944 His balls are always wet, whether it's raining or not. 670 01:14:23,890 --> 01:14:27,157 Hey, is it too late for one more parody? 671 01:14:28,595 --> 01:14:30,462 It's on the Hudson... 672 01:14:30,564 --> 01:14:33,501 with breathtaking views of the skyline. 673 01:14:33,600 --> 01:14:35,431 !Muy romantico! 674 01:14:35,537 --> 01:14:38,335 Yeah! What? Okay! 675 01:14:38,439 --> 01:14:40,340 Get crunk! 676 01:14:58,091 --> 01:15:01,654 - Hai! - 677 01:15:06,568 --> 01:15:10,229 Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah! I'm your baby! Nyah-nyah! 678 01:15:11,273 --> 01:15:13,239 Infantilism. 679 01:16:29,850 --> 01:16:32,911 How often do you have sex? 680 01:16:33,020 --> 01:16:34,921 I don't understand the question. 681 01:16:35,023 --> 01:16:37,489 I mean, it's a PG-1 3 movie. 682 01:16:37,591 --> 01:16:41,029 We're limited to very mild sexual content. 683 01:16:41,127 --> 01:16:44,154 Above the waist... 684 01:16:44,265 --> 01:16:46,426 over the shirt, no tongues. 685 01:16:46,533 --> 01:16:48,435 No tongue. 686 01:16:48,537 --> 01:16:51,265 How about this week? 687 01:16:51,372 --> 01:16:53,100 Nine. 688 01:16:53,207 --> 01:16:56,268 - A hundred and 27. 689 01:16:59,268 --> 01:17:03,268 Preuzeto sa www.titlovi.com